Authored by Kat Farrants
The Dog Sports Performance Coach
The opposite of bullying isn’t toughness. It’s belonging. True belonging. Belonging to ourselves.
Thanks so much for your hundreds of messages from those who have experienced exactly what I described. What struck me most was how many of us have spent years making ourselves smaller. Trying not to upset anyone. Walking on eggshells. Shrinking to the only size that some people seemed to find acceptable.
But I don’t think that’s the future of dog sport.
I think something is changing.
I think people are hungry for something different. Not participating in dog sport community built on fear, status and whoever has the loudest voice. But a culture built on curiosity. On kindness. On learning with one another rather than feeling we have to prove ourselves to one another.
A dog sport where belonging is at the centre.
Most of us have been taught to trust everyone else before we trust ourselves. The trainer. The judge. The experienced competitor. The loudest opinion in the room.
And with that, our sense of true belonging diminishes.
We attempt to belong to their clique, and in so doing,
we lose ourselves.
But what if we also learned to trust ourselves? What if we learned to trust our dogs? What if expertise wasn’t about having all the answers, but about asking better questions? Questions like, “What is my dog trying to tell me?” and “Who do I become when things get difficult?”
I’ve been told I’m too sensitive. Too weak. Perhaps you have too.
But sensitivity isn’t the problem. It’s a superpower.
It’s what allows us to notice the tiniest change in our dog’s expression. To hear what isn’t being said. To know when people are genuinely cheering you on or are trying to look good for others. To stay connected to our own values even when the crowd is pulling us somewhere else.
When sensitivity is grounded in courage, it becomes one of our greatest strengths.
Because courage isn’t about being fearless. It’s about staying open-hearted when it would be easier to close down. Integrity isn’t about being perfect. It’s about letting our actions reflect our values even when nobody is watching. And trust is built every single time we choose to listen. To ourselves. To our dogs. To each other.
That’s the community we’re here to create.
One where we don’t need to shrink to belong. One where kindness isn’t mistaken for weakness. One where we remember that our dogs are always listening to who we are, not just what we ask them to do.
So perhaps the invitation isn’t to wait for someone else to change this sport.
Maybe it’s just being the kind of person who leaves every training session and competition
a little kinder, a little braver, and a little more wholehearted than they found it.
I have a feeling that’s how real change begins.
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